


Forever

by regenderate



Series: Be Held Verse [4]
Category: Angel: the Series, Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: F/F, Marriage, Wedding Fluff, Weddings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-12
Updated: 2018-02-12
Packaged: 2019-03-17 03:36:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,304
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13650606
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/regenderate/pseuds/regenderate
Summary: “Forever’s a long time, B,” Faith said. “What if something happens?”--Faith and Buffy get married. Faith is nervous. Part of the Be Held verse, but understandable without reading the whole series.





	Forever

**Author's Note:**

> Context: Buffy and Faith got together in s7/Chosen. A few years later, they now live together, run a baby Slayer boarding school in London, and foster Slayer children. And they're going to get married.

They set a date for the wedding.

Buffy insisted on summer-- she had wanted to go back to California for it, but a team effort between Faith, Kennedy, and Willow convinced her that that was completely impractical. So they were using London summer as a stand-in, despite the fact that even summer didn’t make England feel any more like California.

It was still November, but Buffy was looking for a dress. She wouldn’t let Faith come with her; there was something about ruining the surprise. So Faith had claimed Kennedy as her tuxedo-buying entourage, and the two of them spent their free time wrestling with local shops about fitting a men’s suit to a woman. It turned out that November wasn’t too early to start looking, because it took two weeks just to find a shop. 

Meanwhile, life went on. Naira moved out to the boarding school dorms, and a new Slayer took her place-- sixteen-year-old Chi, who, like most of the older Slayers they fostered, both reminded Faith a lot of herself and spoke very little English. 

So out came the Rosetta Stone Vietnamese, and for a while, Faith and Buffy were almost too busy with that to think too hard about their wedding.

Almost.

Buffy told Faith she had found a dress and now she was getting it altered, and Faith told Buffy that she had found a shop that was willing to make an attempt at selling her a tux. They were going through possible venues and caterers and florists and photographers-- Buffy had even hired a wedding planner, which had made the whole thing a lot easier on Faith, really. She knew Buffy had a dream wedding, and she figured her own dream wedding was probably the one that made Buffy happiest. 

By January, they had decided on a venue and sent save the date cards to everyone they knew. By February, they had decided on a menu, and by March, they had committed to the florist. The wedding was going to be in July, indoors but not in a church, and there was still, somehow, a lot to do-- actual invitations, and decorations, and arranging the wedding party (made up of Dawn, Willow, Xander, Spike, Fred, and Kennedy, with Kamala as a flower girl and Chana as ring bearer, and then Giles and Angel to walk Buffy and Faith down the aisle, respectively) into a semi-coordinated group, complete with matching outfits. 

And then they had to arrange a rehearsal, and a rehearsal dinner, which was another whole big thing. Faith thought sometimes that this wedding thing was a lot of work, but then she saw how excited Buffy got over it all, and Faith thought maybe it was worth it. 

They got through the school year, they passed their summer training duties off to Kennedy, and then it was only a few weeks until the wedding, and Faith was getting worried. 

“I'm going to be a terrible wife,” she told Kennedy one night, as they were poring over seating charts.

“You're not,” Kennedy said. 

“I know I proposed and all,” Faith said, “but I'm not sure if I can do this.”

Kennedy looked up and put her hand over Faith’s, looking her dead in the eyes. 

“You can do this,” she said. “It's Buffy. She loves you.”

“She didn't always,” Faith muttered. 

“You tried to kill her boyfriend,” Kennedy said, ever practical. 

“Yeah,” Faith agreed. “But I loved her then. Or liked, or whatever you call it when you're seventeen and think you're into guys except you'd go down on your sister Slayer if she let you. And-- after all that-- this is like a dream, or something.”

“It's real,” Kennedy said. “And one time Willow told me that she totally saw Buffy making eyes at you all of senior year. Lesbidar doesn't lie.”

Faith rolled her eyes. “Sure. B was into me, and north and south have switched places.”

“They do that, you know,” Kennedy said. “They switch.”

Faith shrugged. “I’m no scholar. I’m just saying. B was hanging all over Angel.”

“I wasn’t there,” Kennedy said. “I just know what everyone’s told me. And from what I hear, you and Buffy have been dancing around each other for a long time.”

“Maybe,” Faith said. “I just want her to be happy.”

“She’s happy with you.”

Somehow, Faith still had trouble believing it. Every time Buffy smiled at her, she was warm inside, but that warmth was coupled with a nagging fear that somehow, Buffy was faking it, or she wouldn’t be smiling if she could see Faith from the inside, or something. Never mind that she actually  _ had _ seen Faith from the inside, and at a much worse time than this.

There was still a part of Faith that thought she might go bad again, someday. All she had to do was stop trying not to be.

And Buffy was so irrevocably  _ good _ , always trying to do her best for her friends. Faith wanted to be like that, but she didn’t have the right touch for it. And hell, sure she wanted to spend the rest of her life with Buffy, but what if that wasn’t fair for Buffy?

But wedding preparations were going full swing, and there wasn’t a lot of time for second-guessing. Not when they needed to get a band booked, and remember when Willow was dating a boy in a band and wouldn’t Dingoes be nice right about now and did Faith know  _ anything _ about music? 

The answer was no, but fortunately, Buffy knew some things, and Dawn was pretty good at calling people, and eventually, a Buffy-and-Faith-approved band was booked for the night. 

And then it was the day before the wedding, and Kennedy and Willow had each organized a bachelorette party, and Faith was having a major freakout inside as she and Buffy kissed goodbye until the next day. As she got in the car with Kennedy, Angel, Spike, and Fred, Kennedy said, “Next time you see each other, it’ll be to get married,” and Faith shivered a little.

Spike, who was sitting next to her, looked at her with concern. “You okay?” he asked.

“Peachy,” Faith said. 

Spike held her gaze for a moment, and then he shrugged. “You and Buffy’ll be good together.”

“You giving me permission to marry your ex?” Faith asked.

Spike laughed. “Technically we never dated,” he said. “And you’ve never needed permission.”

“You’re right about that,” Faith agreed. 

The car fell silent. Faith watched the scenery go by for a few minutes. After a moment, she could take the silence no more, and she asked, “So, where are we going?”

“A club,” Kennedy said. “Nothing fancy. We figured we’d better stick to the basics, you know?”

“Sounds good,” Faith said. 

“Plus, the less partying you do, the better you feel tomorrow,” Fred said. “Kennedy wanted to do a full-on pub-crawl-slash-vampire-staking-contest.”

“Well, you know I would have won,” Faith said, tossing her hair.

“Don’t be too sure,” Kennedy said.

“I was going to be the ref,” Fred admitted. “I’m not much for the staking.”

“We can’t all have superpowers,” Faith said. “Anyway, I’m not doing anything that will compromise my ability to walk down that aisle.”

“I’m sure Buffy would be willing to help,” Kennedy said.

“Good point.” Faith shrugged. “I guess the Slaying contest is all right after all.”

“I’d’ve swept the floor with all of you,” Spike said.

“You wish,” Kennedy told him. She slowed the car down and parked. “All right, everybody. Get ready for the party of your life.”

Faith was saving the party of her life for the wedding reception, but dancing with Kennedy, Angel, Spike, and Fred was fun. It was just what she needed-- even in her most stressful moments, moving her body to music always managed to soothe her. She wondered what Buffy and company were doing about now-- she suspected it was something quieter. Buffy seemed like the type to have a spa night or something. Probably she was sitting with Willow and Xander and Dawn somewhere, with a glass of champagne and little cucumbers over her eyes. 

Faith left the dance floor and joined Angel at the bar, where he was hunched over a beer, glancing around.

“Something wrong?” Faith asked.

“No,” Angel said. “It’s just-- not my scene.”

“Hey, thanks for coming anyway,” Faith said. “The bachelorette party isn’t really a pseudo-father responsibility. I bet Giles isn’t doing this.”

“I wouldn’t miss it,” Angel told her. “Never thought I’d see you get married.”

“Me, either,” Faith admitted. “Kinda weird, huh?”

Angel looked at her, doing his thing where Faith thought maybe he could read her mind. “How are you doing?”

Faith shrugged. “It’s all good. Gonna marry B, spend the rest of our lives together, lots of little children.”

Angel looked at her for another moment.

“Fine. I’m a little scared. It’s no big. I’ll get over it.” Faith turned on her stool and caught a bartender’s eye. “Hey, could I get a beer?” 

She took her beer and started to drink, still avoiding eye contact with Angel.

“I’m guessing you don’t want to talk about it,” Angel said.

“Nope,” Faith said. 

“You should.”

“Probably.” Faith sipped her beer. “Not much to talk about. I love B, I’m not good enough for her, the concept of forever freaks me out.”

“You think you’re not good enough for her?”

“Angel, she’s the Chosen One. The golden Slayer or whatever. She’s basically perfect. How do I compare to that? What if she stops loving me? Someday she’s going to realize how lame I am and it’s all going to go to Hell.”

“Buffy loves you,” Angel said. “Here. Come on.” He took out his phone and got up, texting while he did it.

Faith looked from him to the phone, narrowing her eyes. “What are you doing?”

“It’s too loud in here.” Angel started to walk away, and Faith followed him, feeling likt an errant child. 

“Come on, Angel.” 

And then they were both outside, the air crisp on Faith’s bare shoulders, and Angel hit a button on his phone and handed it to Faith. She held it to her ear, still eyeing Angel. 

“ _ Hello? _ ” 

It was Buffy’s voice. Faith turned away from Angel.

“Hey, B.”

“ _ Faith? _ ” 

“That’s what they call me.”

“ _ How’s your party going? _ ”

“It’s good. How’s yours?”

“ _ Pretty nice. Would be better if you were here. _ ”

“Yeah,” Faith said. There was a big lump in her throat for some reason. She swallowed. “You better dance with me real good tomorrow, yeah?”

“ _ Are you okay? _ ” Buffy asked.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Faith said, glancing over her shoulder at Angel. “Just was talking to Angel and, I don’t know, I guess he thought we should talk.”

“ _ He texted me. Says you’re feeling down about the wedding. _ ”

“Forever’s a long time, B,” Faith said. “What if something happens?”

“ _ It won’t, _ ” Buffy said. “ _ Come on, Faith. We raise children together. We’re basically married already. _ ”

“Yeah, I guess.”

“ _ And even marriage isn’t forever, _ ” Buffy continued. “ _ God forbid we need a divorce, but it’s always an option. _ ”

“Yeah.”

“ _ But we’ve come this far, _ ” Buffy said. “ _ We might as well bring it home. _ ”

Faith smiled. “Thanks, B. You really know how to cheer a girl up.”

“ _ Love you. _ ”

“Love you too.”

“ _ I’m going to go back to the party. These face masks don’t wear themselves. _ ”

Faith laughed. “Sure thing, B. See you tomorrow?”

“ _ Pretty much. _ ”

“Bye.”

“ _ Bye _ .”

Faith hit the end call button and gave the phone back to Angel.

“You happy?” she asked.

“Are you?” he countered.

She rolled her eyes. “Sure. Whatever. Come dance with me.”

Angel sighed, but he let Faith lead him inside and onto the dance floor. He danced like an awkward chicken-- it was great.

They went home early, or, at least, early for a night of partying. So it was about midnight when Faith was lying in Kennedy’s guest bedroom, trying to get herself to sleep. She’d never admit it to Angel, but the call with Buffy had indeed made her feel a lot better about the whole thing-- just not better enough to make her fall asleep easily. 

Eventually, she fell asleep, and she was up bright and early the next morning.

The wedding wasn’t until that afternoon, which meant that there was a lot of time to get ready. Unfortunately, Faith didn’t need all that much time; maybe Buffy was getting her hair and makeup done or whatever, but Faith was just going to put on her tux and maybe some red lipstick or something. Fortunately, Fred was doing the whole hair and makeup thing, and Faith offered to help, despite protests that she shouldn’t be helping other people get ready for her own wedding.

“All part of the experience, Freddy,” she said, holding a lock of Fred’s hair. “You thinking braided?”

Finally, it was about an hour before they had to leave, and Kennedy brought out Faith’s tux, which had been hidden away in a closet a week before. Faith pulled her hair back into a low ponytail and looked in the mirror, trying to figure out what to do with her makeup. 

“Any ideas?” she asked Kennedy.

“Yeah. Figure this out more than an hour before your own wedding,” Kennedy said.

Faith rolled her eyes. “Whatever.” She looked at herself critically and backed away. “You know what? B’s not marrying me for my lipstick. Hit me with that tux.”

Once she had the tux on, she looked into the mirror again. There was a moment where she didn’t recognize herself, but then it turned into surprise. Did she…  _ like _ the person she’d become? 

She looked at herself for a long moment, and then turned to where Angel, Spike, Kennedy, and Fred were waiting. 

“All right. Let’s do this.”

She was still nervous on the ride to the hall they had rented, but she had a handle on herself now. She was on her way to marry the woman she loved, and what could be better than that? She was surrounded by friends, on her way to Buffy and to still more friends, looking her absolute best, and that was pretty great, all things considered. 

When they got there, Kennedy held the car door open, and Faith stepped out, feeling all fancy. “Thanks,” she said, smiling at Kennedy.

“No problem,” Kennedy answered as the others got out of the car. “Let’s get you married.”

Faith grinned. “Sure thing.”

There was a room for Faith to wait in while Kennedy, Willow, and Dawn, who had been heavily involved in the wedding planning process, ran around and made sure everything was ready. She sat, trying not to somehow mess up her outfit, talking to Angel and Fred and Spike and waiting for Kennedy or somebody to come back and tell her that it was time. 

Finally, Dawn poked her head in. 

“We’re ready for you,” she said. 

Faith got up. “Cool,” she said, rubbing her sweaty palms on the sides of her pants. “Let’s go.”

And finally, she was standing in the back of a room full of friends and almost-family, her arm in Angel’s, getting ready to walk. She and Buffy had realized that they didn’t have enough living and/or friendly relatives to make up a proper procession, so they were just doing Faith first, then the whole procession of bridesmaids and men, and then Kamala and Chana would lead Buffy. 

Which meant that, when the music started, Faith was first, walking in lock-step with Angel, looking ahead of her at Andrew, who had revealed pretty early in the whole planning process that he was an ordained minister for some unknown reason. In the edges of her vision were the smiling faces of everyone she had ever met and some people she hadn’t, and Faith felt kind of weird about that, that they were all looking at her and they knew why she was here and they knew she loved Buffy. Her love had always been a private thing, but it was too late for that now.

After an eternity, she was finally up at the front of the room. She turned around to see Willow and Xander, both grinning like dorks; and then behind them Kennedy with Dawn, Dawn completely serious, Kennedy with a twinkle in her eye; and finally Fred and Spike, Fred grinning as only she could, Spike looking completely out of place, but that didn’t matter, because after all that--

There was Buffy. She was walking slowly, sedately, beautifully. Her dress was all lacy on top, and then the bottom flared out perfectly, and Faith didn’t know the words to describe any of the rest of it, but damn, if it wasn’t exactly perfect for Buffy, Faith didn’t know what was. And her hair was all up and pretty, too, with just the right amount of falling around her face, and Faith could see her smile through her veil, and that smile was for  _ her _ , for  _ Faith _ , and Faith couldn’t quite believe it. 

And then Buffy was up there  _ with _ Faith, and Faith couldn’t stop looking at her, and  _ damn _ , now she was smiling all uncontrollably, and this was really not doing anything for her bad girl persona.

Buffy lifted her veil and pushed it back over her head, and Faith almost dropped dead right there, she was that beautiful. Faith was just itching to kiss her, but she wasn’t allowed, not yet, and so she just waited for Andrew to start.

He was using the most cliche script possible, of course, starting with, “Dearly beloved,” and everything, but not even Andrew’s grating voice could bring Faith down right about now. Not his voice, not the part of her head that was terrified of this whole concept, nothing at all could bring her down.

Except maybe Andrew comparing their love to Kirk and Spock from  _ Star Trek. _

Their vows weren’t anything special-- Faith had made it known that she would not be saying anything sappy in front of all their friends, and Buffy had rolled with it, so it was just an “I do” from each, and then Andrew took the world’s longest dramatic pause before he said, “You may both, respectively, kiss the bride.”

And then it didn’t matter what Andrew was doing, or even that everyone was watching, because now Faith got to kiss her wife-- her  _ wife _ ! --her wife, Buffy Summers, the most beautiful woman in the entire world, a sweet, tender kiss, and Faith was  _ so _ happy, so much happier than she deserved to be, but somehow she managed to ignore that in favor of kissing Buffy, and pulling away and smiling at Buffy, and she thought that somehow as long as she was in Buffy’s arms, everything would be all right.

The reception felt like a dream, sitting with Buffy at a table full of friends, getting congratulated, eating cake, while people gave speeches about how much they loved Faith and Buffy and their relationship. And then the music began, a slow song, and Faith pulled Buffy onto the dance floor, and Buffy’s head was on her shoulder, and Faith’s entire world was right there in one place. 

Faith danced with everybody-- she danced with Angel, she danced with Kennedy, she danced with Kamala and Chana and some of the other kids all at once-- she danced with everybody, but she still somehow managed to spend the majority of her night with Buffy, holding her hand, kissing her hair, holding her to the music.

“You know something, B?” she said, near the end of the night, sitting at a table with a slightly tipsy Buffy on her lap.

“Yeah?” Buffy asked, pushing a stray bit of hair out of her eyes, smiling up at Faith..

“I could get used to this forever thing.”

**Author's Note:**

> I realized that this fic takes place around 2008/2009 in my head, in which I would have been 8/9 years old. I did consider creating a self-insert 9-year-old Slayer. In the end, it did not fit into the fic. But I want you to know that 9-year-old me was in this fic in spirit.
> 
> This is also one of my favorite fics I've written lately. So that's nice.


End file.
